Hi GuidoFox here! Wonderful that you will read this article ;)

In the world of relationship coaching there is an underestimated subject: how the nature could interfere in the relationship dynamic?

In the ‘jungle’ and the periods of our ancestors contraceptives weren’t available yet and women could be pregnant at very young ages – as following the natural principles. The ‘civilization’ process changes the whole natural standards and women first pregnancies getting to start nowadays on an average passing by their thirties.

The honeymoon phase mostly ends within the 15 months, which change in the phase of deeper forms of attachment. It’s not a coincidence that this time-period is exactly the time when the woman could be pregnant and gives birth to her (first) child. The honeymoon phase is next to a grounded bonding phase, also a phase to attach the man (next to his DNA) for safety/protection for her future and new child. It’s a very vulnerable phase for the woman where emotional attachment frictions in the starting relationship could arise.

As we are going astray from nature – with the introducing of contraceptives methods – the pregnancy and child is merely not coming from the scratch. This delaying would have an outcome in the mutual respectfulness within the relationship. The woman thinks – in her subconciousness – that the man couldn’t deliver the right evolutionary material for her (low quality or non-fitting seeds). The other way around: the man thinks – in his subconciousness – that she is maybe infertile. This causes in a lot of cases underlying disrespectful tensions within the relationship after this time period (e.g. taking the relationship for granted). It’s hard to see (from the male perspective) that relationships are ending after 5 years without children (chosen wise), women gets pregnant in a very short time with a new man (frame setting).

If the woman gets pregnant in a very short time following the natural principles the respect for the man within the relationship is – I think – higher (‘he is the father of my child/gave me a wonderful child’). If several children arise from the same man, other relationship problems will arise: the job is for both natural wise done. Therefore many couples tell that the intimacy and the relationship changes after the birth of children.

I am not saying that good communications, understandings of social dynamics and feeling each other’s needs within the relationship (relationship coaching), doesn’t work out. The effects of relationship coaching could temper the above mentioned natural impacts. It also work out the awareness by couples of these natural forces.

Greetz,

GuidoFox – Evolve your Life!

Spiritual Life Coach

www.GuidoFox.nl

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