Hi GuidoFox here! Wonderful that you will read this article!
Bullying in Relationships is a neglected subject in the relationship coaching: people who are suffering from bullying in their relationships are mostly full in their shame-mode and will be quiet about it to the outside world (or overcompensating positive in some cases (social media pictures together)).
Remember the times that you started with your relationship: everything was flowering, positive, fresh, new and future-minded-loaded. And suddenly: the partner starts joking disparaging-(smiling)-wise, making comments about your imperfections/weak points (to put you down & control/constant criticism) and try to make your family & friends ridiculous (gossiping/isolation strategy).
In the beginning you are surprised and you probably think: it will be over soon (and you ignore it) or you accept it in some way, because it is part of a so called society relationship. In a matter of time you are stuck in a toxic co-dependent relationship full of fears, anxiety, trust-issues, feelings of desperation, maybe physical & emotional intimidation, boredom-bully-mechanisms and overall energy-leakages. And of course, it is not easy to step out because of the emotional (time)-investments.
The first solution is to talk about it to the partner and a relationship specialist (don’t be afraid to ask for support) and to overcome the feelings of shame. Mention clearly what you don’t like about the behavior of your partner and how it affects you in your emotions and daily life performance.
The second solution is to set boundaries (if the smilings-aways stays): ‘if it happens again, I will pick my stuff and I will be able to find a more positive place to stay’. In toxic relationships both partners are mostly emotional weak/insecure and afraid to loose each other (and to over-test), but the affraidness is coming from within and the partner who is afraid is accountable for it (therefore you can say it as a boundary – even if it can make the other more insecure/afraid). This boundary makes you stronger as a person, because the affraidness of losing each other will decline (in this amazing world there are more lovable opportunities to find - mindset). Of course, if it happens again you have to stay with your words.
If you go higher into understanding social dynamics and spiritual relationships, you will see that there are no reasons to bully, to put someone down, to over-test each other & to make drama. The mind is afraid, deeply depressed. The mind is fearful and it wants to stay ‘alive’ by making noise, drama and conflicts. The mind is addicted to toxic action. If you both not going into spiritual psychology and esotericism, the next dynamics (after your relationship-ending) will be probably the same (vicious circle). Only if you find the healing blissfulness inside and let the mind behind and raise your consciousness and attract other kind of people, you will be saved in a flourishing relationship with nearly no drama’s.
Keep further in mind that your family and surroundings (friends) are a wrong example about ‘how relationship should be’. The matrix gives you false (youth) examples about that drama and making each other ridiculous is just a part of a relationship: it’s definitely not.
Whatsapp me personally for more details about extended coaching programs to let your relationship coming into higher healthy stages!
GuidoFox – Evolve your Life!
Spiritual Life Coach